Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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