I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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