Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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