I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
