Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
