She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
You're like the curious george of whores
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
