Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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