they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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