she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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