Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
