Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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