Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
