That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Randomize
