Can Purell be used as lube?
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
this boner is exhausting
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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