my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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