Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
