I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
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