ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
