I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
