It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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