So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
