I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize