oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
