Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
