i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
