how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
