Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
