i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Randomize
