she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
