Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
