Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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