Just fell off a train. Bad.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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