whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
