I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
