I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
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