do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
