yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize