I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
