maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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