you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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