I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
