Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
