i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
