found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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