Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
