last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
PS: I just woke up from my shower
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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