Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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