1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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