Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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