Less talking, more tequila
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
